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Shit, Christie, we forgot about Lent!

April 22, 2011

Easter Sunday is coming up.  On Saturday, maybe? Which means that there are two days left of Lent.  I didn’t expect Christie to remember – she is Jewish and therefore going to hell.  And I guess it’s good that I forgot because I was raised Catholic so I get off on feeling guilty.  By the way, did you guys know that Catholicism is just a series of mnemonic devices? For instance:

First you get down on your kneeeez
Then you rub your rosareeeeez
GENUFLECT! GENUFLECT! GENUFLECT!

So this Lenten tradition of self-denial, pretty dumb, huh? I hate giving up stuff. I love stuff! Why would I want to give up stuff! One time I bet on a race horse and guess what his name was: Love My Stuff (I’m not lying).  He got last place.  My vices! I love them.  I did give up smoking for a couple months, but that was just so I could pass a health screening that gives me 30% off my groceries, and then after the screening I immediately bought a pack of delicious, anxiety-inducing cigarettes. 

Forget giving up stuff, just give me a creme egg.  Not to be confused with an egg cream.

(Sorry this post is so meandering.  I just watched Youth in Revolt and I want the last two hours of my life back.)

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 22, 2011 10:27 am

    youth in revolt was a TERRIBLE movie. scott pilgrim vs. the world was good.

  2. christie young permalink*
    April 22, 2011 2:18 pm

    i’m only half jewish, so i’ll only be in hell 6 months out of the year.

  3. Ryan Joseph Simons permalink
    April 22, 2011 5:03 pm

    Grandma Dot: “What did you give up for Lent?”

    16-year old me: “Catholicism”

    Needless to say, I am now her 12th favorite grandchild.

  4. sophie's boyfriend permalink
    April 23, 2011 10:44 am

    what bourdain taught me is this: egg cream has neither egg nor cream.

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